Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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