Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
