theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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