I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
