dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
