hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
