Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
