M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
