that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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