Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
