Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
