i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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