If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
