if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
