at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
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