i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
