Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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