Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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