Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
