remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
