Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think a kid would responsible me up
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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