so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
