I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize