made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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