This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
