so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
