Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
