We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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