I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
