Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
