i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It's just like the Real World with babies
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
