Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
