Don't you send me to vm
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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