He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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