we're blogging at a bar
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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