Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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