i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
