I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
They are going to name an STD after you.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
