Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
