I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
