i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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