where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
