It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Randomize
