your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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