I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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