dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
