google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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