And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
