Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
