I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
